Pregnancy and Birth Story of Baby Olivia

The Shock

When I found out i was pregnant with my third child, it came as a shock. I was not expecting to have anymore children. There was a lot of mixed emotions, for both me and my family. My boys were 6 and 5 at the time and we were learning a new groove of life, school, and pandemic.

That year prior my oldest had been asking for a baby sister. We told him, it doesn’t work like that. I can’t promise that if we had another baby it would be a girl. He resigned his efforts. I had always been open to a third child. My husband though was sure he was done, however didn’t make any decisions to make that permanent.

Third Times the Charm

From start to finish, the pregnancy and birth was so different from my previous children. Pregnancy and birth are so different, no matter if the parents are circumstances are similar. This is a new person. I am also a different person.

Being pregnant makes me recommit to being the healthiest version of myself. The year prior when the pandemic hit, I was not feeling my healthiest self. I was doing my Covid baking, I had experienced some health issues, the stress of distance learning, and overall adjusting to a new lifestyle.

This pregnancy unlike my previous, I did a lot more testing and ultrasounds than with my previous pregnancies. I felt like I needed to have some certainty. As soon as I learned I was pregnant, I got a “for fun” heartbeat ultrasound. The first ultrasound, I needed to know there was only one baby. Twins could be a likely possibility for me. I have twins in my family and I had moved into the “advanced maternal age" category. During the ultrasound, the tech confirmed, one baby. Phew!

I started seeing a new midwife. We discussed finding out the gender early, I had the option to do a finger prick test, however I opted out. I am not good with needles or blood (birth is an exception for me). As soon as we could do the early gender ultrasound we did. My husband and kids joined for the ultrasound appointment. My kids were split, one wanted a boy and the other a girl. When my younger learned he was having a sister, he was devastated. 

The Struggle

The first trimester was rough. Food was a major struggle along with tiredness and fatigue. I took  lots of afternoon naps and ate what I could stomach. Second trimester rolled around and I was feeling better but had major pelvic girdle pain. Being my third pregnancy, there were a few things I new I was going to differently. I started seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist (which I highly recommend that all pregnant people see one.) I got regular chiropractic adjustments and acupuncture treatments. 

Getting baby into a good position was a priority for me. Positioning is much more than baby being head down. It’s also looking toward the back with chin tucked. My older children were both head down, however not looking toward the back. Especially with my second, his labor pattern was inconsistent and my midwife had to manual rotate him. Ouch!

Third trimester, it was the middle of summer. I was over it. I was really hoping she would come earlier rather than later, though I didn’t have a great track record. My two older children both went past their due dates. Once I was 37 weeks, I let her know that should could come whenever she was ready. My acupuncturist started sending eviction notices.

The Birth

The day before my due date, I had lost some fluid. “Yes!'“, I was thinking. She is going to come tomorrow, right on her due date. That night I started losing some of my mucous plug. I called my husband and told him to come home from work. I start mentally and emotionally preparing to have a baby.

Went to bed that night. Nothing. Not a single contraction. Or rather a contraction that would wake me up from sleep. (I had been cramping and contractions for a few weeks prior to that.) 

I go about life. The second night, I go to bed. No contractions. I wake up in the morning, lost more plug. Go about life. After the third night, I have an appointment with my midwife. I had her check me because I needed to know. This was Wednesday morning, I was 40% effaced and 2-3cm. For a mom who has birthed before, this wasn’t exciting news. (It is not uncommon for a mom who has given birth before to be dilated and not give birth right away, sometimes days or weeks.)

I go home and make myself lunch. My husband leaves to pick up our boys from school. I get up to make myself a drink and my water broke. I couldn’t move without losing fluid. I call my midwife and let her know what happened. She tells me she will be stopping by to test my fluids. After that I started feeling mild contractions right away. 

This was not how birth has gone for me in the past. With my older children, I lost my plug and had a baby within 24 hours. I had never lost my water and not been in active labor. That is why I cannot stress enough to not have expectations. We may have an idea of how things might go, but even if we had given birth before, you really won’t know until it’s done.

My midwife arrives, confirms I had indeed lost my waters. We communicated I would be in touch when I need her. Baby was coming. Contractions steadily pick up. I had dinner around 6pm. Things start picking up a bit around 7pm, I decide to go upstairs and labor. I knew at that point I won’t be going down for a few days, well after baby is born. I had called my midwife letting her know things were picking up but I wasn’t quite ready for her help yet. 

Transition

Around 8pm, after checking in with my midwife, I was going to take a bath. I go sit on the toilet which is my routine before getting in the bath. I had a really intense contraction and started feeling some pressure. When I checked the time of that one, it was about 3 minutes. I did not trust it. Looking back, I am confident I was in transition. I called my midwife immediately telling her to come now. Followed by calling the birth photographer. I decided to skip the bath and instructed my husband to fill the tub ASAP.

At this point, I am struggling to get comfortable. I was so grateful to be able to get into the tub. The birth photographer arrives first, followed by my midwife not too long after. It’s about 8:30pm. (Luckily everyone lives not too far from me.)

During this time I am going in and out of the tub, trying to find different positions to get comfortable in. Standing and being upright is struggle. (It’s those uncomfortable positions that bring on the strong contractions is what gets baby out.) I remember asking my midwife how many more of these I have to do. 

After being in the tub for a bit, it was making me too hot so I decide I want to take a shower. The shower gets going. I ask my husband to put on his swim shorts in case I need him. As soon as I get into the shower, I think to myself I can’t do this (standing up.) I get down on fours and very much in my own head. I think to myself, this is my low point. Rock bottom. This is it.

Pushing

I get out of shower and back into the tub. I knew it was time to push. I started pushing. I claw onto my husband for leverage and let out a few roars. I saw my younger son covering his ears. I wasn’t sure if and how much of baby was out. I take a breath. I check-in with my midwife and she instructors me I can get the rest of her out. One more big push and baby was born.

I meet my baby. She was covered in vernix and absolutely perfect. My midwife commented that she had her hand near her face. Which I had suspected while pushing and it was something she would do in her ultrasounds. 

Postpartum

After I gave birth, I delivered the placenta and my midwives put me in bed. My husband prepared a charcuterie board per my postpartum plan. I had a significant amount of blood loss but my midwives were able to manage it at home. I spent the next few days in bed and getting to know my baby.

Closing Thoughts

I had always admired the women who would go about life in active labor and within a few hours birth a baby. I can add myself to that list. My previous births did not go like that. As I emphasized before, each pregnancy and birth is unique.